


When The Levee Breaks (4.21)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [81]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 66 Seals (Supernatural), Bobby's Panic Room, Demon Blood, Demonology, Devil's Trap, Drugs, Fights, Flashbacks, Impala, Singer Salvage Yard, Unconsciousness, angel lore, bobby's hats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 08:59:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8791507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: Sam is locked up in Bobbyz panic room ta cleanse his body from demon blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat afta nuff muthafuckin seals is fucked up Bobby wants ta set Sam free ta help stop tha Apocalypse n' Dean seeks up Castiel fo' help.





	1. Now

INT. BOBBY'S PANIC ROOM- DAY  
  
SAM is inside tha room, DEAN just outside, poppin' off all up in tha lil barred window up in tha door.  
  
**SAM  
** Okay. Let me out. This aint funky.  
  
**DEAN  
** Damn straight.  
  
**SAM  
** Dean, come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This is crazy.  
  
**DEAN  
** No. Not until you dry out.  
  
**SAM  
** Look, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. I shouldn't have lied ta you, biatch. Just open tha door.  
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass don't gotta apologize. It aint nuthin but not yo' fault. It aint nuthin but not yo' fault dat you lied ta me over n' over again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I git it now, nahmeean, biatch? Yo ass couldn't help dat shit.  
  
**SAM  
** I aint some junkie.  
  
**DEAN  
** Really, biatch? I guess I've just imagined how tha fuck strung up you've been lately.  
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass is straight-up tryin ta twist dis tha fuck into some kind of wack sticky-icky-icky intervention?  
  
**DEAN  
** If it smells like a thugged-out duck.  
  
**SAM  
** Dean, I aint drankin tha demon blood fo' kicks. I be gettin phat enough ta bust a cap up in Lilith.  
  
**DEAN  
** Strong?  
  
**SAM  
** Yeah.  
  
**DEAN  
** This be bout as far away from phat as you can get. Try weak. Try desperate. Pathetic.  
  
**SAM  
** Bustin' Lilith is what tha fuck matters. Or is you so busy bein self-righteous you forgot bout her?  
  
**DEAN  
** Oh, Lilithz gonna take a thugged-out dirt nap. Bobby n' I'ma bust a cap up in her n' shit. But not wit you, biatch.  
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass aint straight-up n shit.  
  
**DEAN  
** Congrats, Sammy. Yo ass just looted yo ass a funky-ass benchwarma seat ta tha apocalypse.  
  
**SAM  
** Dean, look—no, wait—  
  
DEAN shuts tha window cover.  
  
**SAM**  
Come back here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Dean! Let me outta here biaaatch! Dean! Let me outta here biaaatch! Let me up son! Dean!


	2. Act One

INT. BOBBY'S PANIC ROOM- DAY  
  
SAM bangs on tha door n' circlez tha room; tha room blurs. Da light flickers.  
  
**SAM  
** Guys muthafucka! Git down here biaaatch! Somethingz coming!  
  
ALASTAIR appears behind SAM, bustin tha same body as up in [4.16 On tha Head of a Pin](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=4.16_On_the_Head_of_a_Pin).  
  
**ALASTAIR  
** Yo muthafucka, Sam. It aint nuthin but a pleasure ta peep you again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Looks like I have you all ta mah dirty ass here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Goodnizz yo. How tha fuck will we pass tha time?  
  
SAM is bound ta a cold-ass lil cross inside a thugged-out devilz trap, gagged.  
  
**SAM  
** Don't. Fuck dat shit, no, don't. Don't, don't. No—stop! Stop! Alastair—please. Please.  
  
**ALASTAIR  
** So polite all of a sudden. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Straight-up sick. I appreciate all dis bullshit.  
  
**SAM  
** No fo' realz. Alastair,. Biiiatch please.Fuck dat shit, no—  
  
SAM screams yo. Dude is neither gagged nor bound; he is on tha cot up in tha middle of tha devilz trap, arms over tha open air on either side.  
  
**SAM  
** No. No. God, no! Please biaaatch! Please,. Biiiatch please.Dogg dawwwg!  
  
INT. BOBBY'S LIVING ROOM- DAY  
  
BOBBY pours two glassez of whiskey n' handz one ta DEAN.  
  
**SAM  
** Stop! Stop!  
  
**DEAN  
** How tha fuck long is dis gonna go on?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Here, let me look it up in mah demon-detox manual. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Oh wait. No one eva freestyled one. No spittin some lyrics ta how tha fuck long it'll take yo. Hell, or if Sam will even live all up in dat shit.  
  
Da beeper rings. BOBBY sighs n' lyrics.  
  
**BOBBY  
** Hello. ...Suck dirt n' die, Rufus. Yo ass call me again, I be bout ta bust a cap up in you, biatch.  
  
**DEAN  
** Whatz fuckin' phat wit Rufus?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Dude knows.  
  
Da beeper rings. BOBBY lyrics.  
  
**BOBBY  
** I be busy, you lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch. This betta be blingin.  
  
INT. BOBBY'S PANIC ROOM- DAY  
  
SAM realizes he neither gagged nor bound; it surprises his muthafuckin ass.  
  
**BOY  
** Da answerz yes. Yo ass is hallucinating.  
  
SAM looks at him; itz YOUNG SAM from [3.08 A Straight-up Supernatural Chrizzle](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=3.08_A_Very_Supernatural_Christmas) n' [4.13 Afta School Special](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=4.13_After_School_Special).  
  
**YOUNG SAM  
** Thatz right, itz mah dirty ass. Or I mean itz you, biatch.  
  
**SAM  
** I be losin mah mind.  
  
**YOUNG SAM  
** Definitely.  
  
**SAM  
** What do you want?  
  
**YOUNG SAM  
** An explanation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. How tha fuck could you do dis ta me son, biatch? I thought we was gonna be normal.  
  
**SAM  
** I tried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it didn't pan up dat way. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sorry, kid.  
  
**YOUNG SAM  
** 'Sorry, kid', biatch? Thatz what tha fuck you gotta say, biatch? It aint nuthin but all we eva wanted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Us thugs was so close. Yo ass gots away from Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass quit hunting. Yo ass was gonna become a lawyer n' git married. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Why'd you blow it?  
  
**SAM  
** Look. They capped Jessica.  
  
**YOUNG SAM  
** Yeah fo' realz. And if you hadn't run off wit Dean, if you'd been there ta protect her, she'd still be kickin it.  
  
**SAM  
** I know.  
  
**YOUNG SAM  
** Yo ass be thinkin Jizz would want you ta turn tha fuck into this, biatch? Biatch loved you, biatch. Yo ass be thinkin she'd be aiiight you rockin her as a excuse?  
  
**SAM  
** I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. I am. But game don't turn up tha way you thought when you was fourteen muthafuckin years old. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Us thugs was never gonna be normal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Us thugs was never gonna git away. Grow up.  
  
**YOUNG SAM  
** Maybe you right. Maybe there be a no escape fo' realz. Afta all, how tha fuck can you run from whatz inside yo slick ass?  
  
YOUNG SAMz eyes turn yellow.  
  
INT. BOBBY'S LIVING ROOM- DAY  
  
**BOBBY  
** Da news. Da shizzle ain't good.  
  
**DEAN  
** This is what tha fuck Rufus called about, biatch? 'Key Westside sees ten species go extinct'.  
**BOBBY  
** Yep. Plus Alaska. Fifteen-man fishin crew all stricken blind, cause unknown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. New York, mackdaddy goes postal, locks tha door, kills exactly sixty-six lil playas fo' realz. All dis up in a single day. It make me wanna hollar playa! I looked dem up. Therez no diggity bout dat shit. They're all seals. Breaking. Fast.  
  
**DEAN  
** How tha fuck nuff is left?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck knows, biatch? Can't be many. Where tha hell is yo' angel pals?  
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass tell mah dirty ass.  
  
**BOBBY  
** I be just wondering.  
  
**DEAN  
** What?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Da apocalypse bein nigh n' all...is now straight-up tha right time ta be havin dis lil domestic drama of ours?  
  
**DEAN  
** What do you mean?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Well, I don't like dis any mo' than you do yo, but Sam can bust a cap up in demons. Dat punk gots a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass blasted at stoppin Armageddon.  
  
**DEAN  
** So what, biatch? Sacrifice Samz game, his soul, fo' tha pimped outa good, biatch? Is dat what tha fuck you saying, biatch? Times is bad, so letz use Sam as a nuclear warhead?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Look, I know you don't give a fuck bout me fo' suggestin dat shit. I don't give a fuck bout me fo' suggestin dat shit. I gots a straight-up boner fo' dat pimp like a son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. All I be sayin is maybe dat schmoooove muthafucka here right now instead of on tha battlefield cuz our slick asses ludd his ass too much.  
  
INT. BOBBY'S PANIC ROOM- DAY  
  
SAM sits crosslegged on tha floor of tha room n' looks around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da room blurs up in n' outta focus. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM spots tha pitcher of wata n' tries ta git it; dat schmoooove muthafucka has ta brace his dirty ass on tha cot ta git off tha floor.  
  
**WOMAN  
** Skanky baby.  
  
SAM looks up, startled.  
  
**SAM  
** Mom.  
  
MARY is bustin a white nightgown wit a big-ass bloodstain.  
  
**MARY  
** Sam. Yo ass look just awful.  
  
SAM laughs.  
  
**SAM  
** Letz hear dat shit. Go ahead.  
  
**MARY  
** What do you mean?  
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass is pissed tha fuck off. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Yo ass never thought I'd turn up dis way. I be a piss-poor excuse fo' a son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo crazy-ass ass is broken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Am I close?  
  
**MARY  
** Not at all. Yo ass is bustin tha right thang, Sam. What you bustin is brave. Yo ass aint bein crazy, you bein practical. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam, I be so proud as a muthafucka of you, biatch.  
  
**SAM  
** But—but Dean—  
  
**MARY  
** Yo crazy-ass brutha don't understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I was raised a hunta from a long-ass line. We KNOW dat there be gonna be hard chizzlez fo' realz. And our phat asses do what tha fuck we gotta ta git tha thang done. Yes, our crew is cursed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But you—you have tha juice ta turn it tha fuck into a gift. Yo ass can use it against dem wild-ass muthafuckas.  
  
**SAM  
** For revenge?  
  
**MARY  
** Fuck dat shit, fo' justice. I know how tha fuck scared yo ass is.  
  
**SAM  
** Whatz up in me, Mom, it's—  
  
**MARY  
** Evil fo' realz. And you know dat shit.  
  
**SAM  
** What if itz stronger than me son, biatch? Look all up in mah face. What if Deanz right?  
  
**MARY  
** Dean can never know how tha fuck phat yo ass is, cuz Dean is weak. Look at what tha fuck da ruffneck done ta you, biatch. Lockin you up in here, biatch? Dat punk terrified. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dat punk up in over his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass gotta go on without his muthafuckin ass. Yo ass have what tha fuck it takes. Yo ass gotta bust a cap up in Lilith.  
  
**SAM  
** Even if it kills mah dirty ass.  
  
**MARY  
** Make mah dirtnap mean something. I be countin on you, Sam. Don't let mah playas or anythang git up in yo' way. Not even Dean.  
  
MARY kisses SAM n' vanishes.  
  
EXT. BOBBY'S SALVAGE YARD- NIGHT  
  
**DEAN  
** Well, itz bout time. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I been beatboxin mah dirty ass hoarse up here fo' bout two n' a half minutes now, nahmeean?  
  
**CASTIEL  
** What do you want?  
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass can start wit what tha fuck tha hell happened up in Illinois.  
  
**CASTIEL  
** What do you mean?  
  
**DEAN  
** Cut tha crap. Yo ass was gonna tell me something.  
  
**CASTIEL  
** Well, not a god damn thang of import.  
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass gots ass-reamed up in heaven but dat shiznit was not of import?  
  
**CASTIEL  
** Dean, I can't. I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. Git ta tha reason you straight-up called mah dirty ass. It aint nuthin but bout Sam, right?  
  
**DEAN  
** Can da ruffneck do it, biatch? Bust a cap up in Lilith, stop tha apocalypse?  
  
**CASTIEL  
** Possibly, yes. But as you know, he'd gotta take certain steps.  
  
**DEAN  
** Crank up tha hell-blood regimen.  
  
**CASTIEL  
** Consumin tha amount of blood it would take ta bust a cap up in Lilith would chizzle yo' brutha forever n' shit. Most likely, da thug would become tha next creature dat you would feel compelled ta kill. Therez no reason dis would gotta come ta pass, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We believe itz you, Dean, not yo' brutha n' shit. Da only question fo' our asses is whether you willin ta accept dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stand up n' accept yo' role. Yo ass is tha one whoz ass will stop dat shit.  
  
**DEAN  
** If I do this, Sammy aint gots to?  
  
**CASTIEL  
** If it gives you comfort ta peep it dat way.  
  
**DEAN  
** God, you a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dick these days.  
  
DEAN strutts all dem steps away n' sighs.  
  
**DEAN  
** Fine, I be in.  
  
**CASTIEL  
** Yo ass give yo ass over wholly ta tha steez of Dogg n' his thugged-out angels?  
  
**DEAN  
** Yeah, exactly.  
  
**CASTIEL  
** Say dat shit.  
  
**DEAN  
** I give mah dirty ass over wholly ta serve Dogg n' you muthafuckas.  
  
**CASTIEL  
** Yo ass swear ta follow his will n' his word as swiftly n' obediently as you did yo' own father's?  
  
**DEAN  
** Yes, I swear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Now what?  
  
**CASTIEL  
** Now you wait, n' we call on you when itz time.


	3. Act Two

INT. BOBBY'S PANIC ROOM- DAY  
  
SAM sits on tha floor, twitching. Black veins spread across his thugged-out lil' palms n' up his thugged-out arms yo. Dude gets up n' looks up in tha mirror; black veins spread across his wild lil' face.  
  
**SAM  
** Guys muthafucka! Help!  
  
INT. BOBBY'S LIVING ROOM- DAY  
  
**SAM  
** Bobby dawwwwg! Dean! Help! Yo dawwwwg! Yo dawwwwg! Guys muthafucka! Guys muthafucka! Help! Dean!  
  
**BOBBY  
** Correct me if I be wrong yo, but you willingly signed up ta be tha angels' biiiatch?  
  
DEAN looks at his muthafuckin ass.  
  
**BOBBY  
** I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. Yo ass prefer 'sucker', biatch? Afta every last muthafuckin thang you holla'd bout them, now you trust them?  
  
**DEAN  
** Come on, break me off a lil credit, Bobby. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I never trusted dem less. I mean, they come on like shady suckas from hood Vulcan.  
  
**BOBBY  
** Then why up in tha hell did you—  
  
**DEAN  
** Because what tha fuck other option do I have, biatch? It aint nuthin but either trust tha angels or let Sammy trust a thugged-out demon?  
  
**BOBBY  
** I peep yo' point.  
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass hear that?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Yeah, thatz a lil too much nothing.  
  
DEAN n' BOBBY hurry ta tha basement n' open tha window up in tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is on tha floor of tha panic room, havin a seizure.  
  
**DEAN  
** What if he faking?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Yo ass straight-up be thinkin da thug would?  
  
**DEAN  
** I be thinkin he'd do anything.  
  
SAM is slammed against tha wall by a invisible force.  
  
**BOBBY  
** That ain't faking.  
  
They throw open tha door n' charge up in ta git SAM down n' pin his ass ta tha cot.  
  
**BOBBY  
** We gonna gotta tie his ass down fo' his own safety. Dean, biatch? Yo ass wit me son, biatch? Dean! Before dat schmoooove muthafucka has another fit.  
  
**DEAN  
** Yeah, yeah. Letz just git it over with.  
  
INT. BOBBY'S PANIC ROOM- DAY  
  
SAM, calm now, discovers his thugged-out lil' punk-ass been chained ta tha cot yo. Dude sits up.  
  
**DEAN  
** Our thugged-out asses had to. Da demon blood was flingin you all over tha room. Tell me something, Sam. Why did you do dis ta yo ass?  
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass know why.  
  
**DEAN  
** Right. 'Bust a cap up in Lilith'. Da big-ass excuse. But why, biatch? What, revenge, biatch? Right?  
  
**SAM  
** Of course.  
  
**DEAN  
** Revenge fo' what, biatch? For bustin me ta hell, biatch? Did yo dirty ass happen ta notice I be back, biatch? Kickin It n' kicking. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So whatz tha point?  
  
**SAM  
** Point, biatch? How tha fuck bout 'stop tha damn apocalypse'?  
  
SAM be addressin a empty room.  
  
**DEAN  
** My fuckin gig. Not yours. Da angels holla'd so, remember, biatch? Dogg picked me, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So you gots any other dunkadelic excuses, biatch? Hmm?  
  
INT. BOBBY'S LIVING ROOM- DAY  
  
**BOBBY  
** I'ma ask one mo' time fo' realz. Is we straight-up shizzle our phat asses bustin tha right thang?  
  
**DEAN  
** Bobby, you saw what tha fuck was goin' down ta his ass down there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Da demon blood is cappin' his muthafuckin ass.  
  
**BOBBY  
** Fuck dat shit, it aint. We are.  
  
**DEAN  
** What?  
  
**BOBBY  
** I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. I can't bite mah tongue any longer n' shit. We cappin' his muthafuckin ass. Keepin his ass locked up down there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. This cold-turkey thang aint working. If—if da ruffneck don't git what tha fuck he needs, soon, Samz not gonna last much longer.  
  
**DEAN  
** No. I aint givin his ass demon blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! I won't do dat shit.  
  
**BOBBY  
** And if da ruffneck dies?  
  
**DEAN  
** Then at least he takes a thugged-out dirt nap human!  
  
INT. BOBBY'S PANIC ROOM- DAY  
  
**DEAN  
** I know why you straight-up drank dat blood, Sam.  
  
**SAM  
** Just leave me ridin' solo.  
  
**DEAN  
** Makes you feel strong. Invincible fo' realz. A big-ass shitty wolf up in a ghetto of lil pigs.  
  
**SAM  
** No. Yo ass is wrong, Dean.  
  
**DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but mo' than that, aint it, biatch? It aint nuthin but cuz yo' whole game, you felt different fo' realz. Am I right?  
  
**SAM  
** Stop.  
  
**DEAN  
** Oh, I hit a lil close ta home, huh, biatch? Not different cuz you was some lonely kid or cuz of yo' weirdo crew.  
  
**SAM  
** Quit dat shit.  
  
**DEAN  
** Because you a monster.  
  
**SAM  
** Shut up! Just—shut. Da hell. Up.  
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass was always a monsta n' shiznit fo' realz. And you only feel right when you suckin down mo' poison n' mo' evil.  
  
SAM rattlez his chain.  
  
INT. BOBBY'S LIVING ROOM- DAY  
  
**DEAN  
** I would take a thugged-out dirtnap fo' his ass up in a second yo, but I won't let his ass do dis ta his dirty ass. I can't. I guess I found mah line. I won't let mah brutha turn tha fuck into a monster.  
  
INT. BOBBY'S PANIC ROOM- DAY  
  
**DEAN  
** Monster, Sam. Yo ass be a monster.  
  
**SAM  
** Dean, no.  
  
**DEAN  
** And I tried so hard ta pretend dat we was brothers. That you weren't one of tha filthy thangs dat our crazy asses hunt. But our asses aint even tha same species. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Yo ass aint a god damn thang ta mah dirty ass.  
  
**SAM  
** Don't say dat ta mah dirty ass. Don't you say dat ta mah dirty ass.  
  
SAM looks around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da room is empty.  
  
Da lightin chizzles: nightfall.  
  
Da cuff on SAMz left arm snaps open, then his fuckin left ankle, then tha other two. Da door opens. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sits up, staring; da ruffneck didn't do all dis bullshit.  
  
**SAM  
** Hello?  
  
SAM gets up n' slips up tha door.  
  
**SAM  
** Someone here?  
  
SAM hurries on tha fuckin' down-lowly outta tha basement without noticin CASTIEL behind tha stairs. From a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distance, CASTIEL closes n' locks tha panic room door.  
  
EXT. CITY RIVERFRONT- NIGHT  
  
CASTIEL standz at a railing, lookin over tha gin n juice n' shit. Da streetlights flicker n' shiznit yo. Dude turns; ANNA is there.  
  
**ANNA  
** What did you do?  
  
**CASTIEL  
** Yo ass shouldn't have come, Anna.  
  
**ANNA  
** Why would you let up Sam Winchester?  
  
**CASTIEL  
** Those was mah orders.  
  
**ANNA  
** Orders, biatch? Cas, you saw his muthafuckin ass. Dat punk drankin demon blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! It aint nuthin but so much worse than we thought. Dean was tryin ta stop his muthafuckin ass.  
  
**CASTIEL  
** Yo ass straight-up shouldn't have come.  
  
Two ANGELS step tha fuck up on either side of ANNA. White light illuminates CASTIEL; when it is gone, so is tha other three ANGELS. CASTIEL turns back ta tha river.  
  
EXT. BOBBY'S SALVAGE YARD- NIGHT  
  
SAM is hustlin on jackin a cold-ass lil hoopty fo' realz. A glock cocks. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM turns.  
  
**BOBBY  
** Uh-uh, Sam. Da only place you goin is back inside wit mah dirty ass.  
  
**SAM  
** No.  
  
**BOBBY  
** Damn it, boy.  
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass won't blast me, Bobby.  
  
**BOBBY  
** Don't test mah dirty ass.  
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass won't do dat shit. Yo ass can't do dat shit.  
  
**BOBBY  
** We tryin ta help you, Sam.  
  
SAM takes hold of BOBBYz shotgun so dat BOBBY can't aim anywhere but point-blank at SAM.  
  
**SAM**  
Then blast.  
  
A long pause. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM takes tha glock n' knocks BOBBY down, then throws tha glock on tha ground n' returns ta hotwirin tha hoopty yo. Dude drives off.


	4. Act Three

INT. BOBBY'S PANIC ROOM- NIGHT  
  
BOBBY n' DEAN unlock n' open tha panic room door.  
  
**DEAN  
** How tha fuck tha hell did he git out?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Maybe dat schmoooove muthafucka had help. Room full of busted devilz traps.  
  
**DEAN  
** Demons, biatch? Ruby.  
  
**BOBBY  
** That'd be mah guess.  
  
**DEAN  
** How tha fuck did she even bust a nut on tha door?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Yo ass be thinkin she gots tha mojo?  
  
**DEAN  
** I didn't be thinkin so. I don't give a fuck, man.  
  
**BOBBY  
** What difference do it make, biatch? How tha fuck he gots gone ain't as blingin as where he gots gone to.  
  
**DEAN  
** Well, I be bout ta rap one thang fo' realz. At dis point I hope da thug wit Ruby.  
  
**BOBBY  
** Why?  
  
**DEAN  
** 'Cause cappin' herz tha next big-ass item on mah to-do list.  
  
**BOBBY  
** I thought you was on call fo' angel duty.  
  
**DEAN  
** I be on call. In mah car, on mah way ta cappin' tha biiiatch.  
  
DEAN leaves tha room.  
  
**BOBBY  
** One thang.  
  
**DEAN  
** What?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Sam don't wanna be found, which means he gonna be damn near impossible ta find.  
  
**DEAN  
** Yeah, we'll see.  
  
INT. NICE HOTEL ROOM- DAY  
  
SAM sits up in tha corner, bobbin yo. Dude gets up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone knocks on tha door yo. Dude lyrics; itz RUBY.  
  
**RUBY  
** Honeymoon suite, straight-up, biatch? I be flattered.  
  
SAM shuts tha door behind her muthafuckin ass.  
  
**SAM  
** Did yo dirty ass bust me outta dat room?  
  
**RUBY  
** How tha fuck could I, Sam, biatch? Da whole thangz engineered ta bite me up in tha ass.  
  
**SAM  
** Then how tha fuck did I git outta there?  
  
**RUBY  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. I don't wanna know. Yo ass is out. Thatz all dat matters. I be glad you here.  
  
**SAM  
** Yeah, biatch? Where tha hell have you been?  
  
**RUBY  
** I gots here as quick as I could.  
  
**SAM  
** I mean tha past three weeks. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I been callin you, biatch.  
  
**RUBY  
** I've been pretty deep up in it tryin ta dig up Lilith. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sometimes I can't sit round n' check mah voicemail. I be sorry as a muthafucka you hurting. Really. I had no clue dat Dean would do dat ta you, biatch.  
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass n' mah crazy ass both.  
  
**RUBY  
** Yo ass didn't book dis joint just ta impress me, did yo slick ass?  
  
**SAM  
** Deanz gonna come afta mah dirty ass fo' realz. And he knows mah habits, mah aliases, every last muthafuckin thang yo. Dude knows exactly which motel I'd pick.  
  
**RUBY  
** Hence tha room.  
  
**SAM  
** Whatever it takes ta shake his muthafuckin ass.  
  
**RUBY  
** It won't be easy as fuck . I mean, he knows you betta than mah playas.  
  
**SAM  
** Not as well as tha pimpin' muthafucka thinks.  
  
**RUBY  
** Yo ass know, itz sad.  
  
**SAM  
** What?  
  
**RUBY  
** That thangs have gotten dis shitty between you two.  
  
RUBY strokes SAM’s hair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM slams RUBY down onto tha bed n' leans over her, movin down her body until he findz tha knife up in her ankle sheath yo. Dude draws it n' cuts her arm, then leans down ta suck her blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Biatch smirks.  
  
EXT. BOBBY'S SALVAGE YARD- DAY  
  
**BOBBY  
** Popo found mah hoopty fo' realz. Abandoned up in a alley up in Jamestown, Uptown Dakota.  
  
**DEAN  
** Dat punk switchin up fo' realz. Any other rides jacked up in Jamestown?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Two. 1999 Honda Civic, blue. Sick n' anonymous, like Sam likes.  
  
**DEAN  
** What was tha other one?  
  
**BOBBY  
** White oh-five Escalade wit custom rims. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. It aint nuthin but a neon sign.  
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass is right yo. He'd never take dis shit. Which is exactly what tha fuck da ruffneck done did.  
  
**BOBBY  
** Yo ass think?  
  
**DEAN  
** I know dat kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! All right, I be bout ta head up in dat direction. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass stay here, ride tha five-o databases. We gotta find his ass quick.  
  
INT yo. HONEYMOON SUITE- DAY  
  
RUBY is lyin up in bed next ta SAM, both of dem bustin fewer layers than earlier.  
  
**RUBY  
** Yo crazy-ass appetitez gotten much bigger.  
  
**SAM  
** Whatz dat supposed ta mean?  
  
**RUBY  
** Sam, chillax. It aint nuthin but all gravy. It aint nuthin but good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Just means you gettin stronger, thatz all. Well shiiiit, it means you phat enough ta bust a cap up in Lilith. Just up in time, too, cuz tha final seals is breaking.  
  
**SAM  
** How tha fuck nuff is left?  
  
**RUBY  
** Three...two...  
  
**SAM  
** What, biatch? Where is tha angels?  
  
**RUBY  
** Screwin tha pooch, wherever they are. Da point is, itz lookin mo' n' mo' like we gettin down ta tha final seal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack fo' realz. And I found up suttin' big.  
  
**SAM  
** What?  
  
**RUBY  
** Seal sixty-six. Well shiiiit, it can't be fucked up by just any demon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Apparently, only Luciferz first can do dat shit.  
  
**SAM  
** Luciferz first?  
  
**RUBY  
** Demon Sundizzle School story. Dogg prefers humans ta angels. Lucifer gets jealous n' then he gets creatizzle fo' realz. And tha pimpin' muthafucka twists n' tempts a human ass tha fuck into tha straight-up first demon as a 'screw you' ta Dogg. It aint nuthin but what tha fuck gots his ass locked up in tha straight-up original gangsta place.  
  
**SAM  
** That was Lilith?  
  
**RUBY  
** Dat hoe way olda than she looks.  
  
**SAM  
** Wait. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So if Lilith is tha only one whoz ass can break tha final seal, if I git ta her up in time—  
  
**RUBY  
** Then Lucifer never busts outta his cage. Exactly.  
  
**SAM  
** Great. Yo ass git into where she is?  
  
**RUBY  
** Da biiiatch can hide. But I finally gotz a lead on one of mah thugs whoz ass might be able ta help us. I closed up in on a gangmember of Lilithz entourage. Yo ass might call her a underground chef.  
  
**SAM  
** Chef, biatch? Seriously, biatch? What do she eat?  
  
**RUBY  
** Yo ass don't wanna know.  
  
INT yo. HOSPITAL  
  
**INTERCOM  
** X-ray head ta Radiology.  
  
**BLONDE NURSE  
** Hear bout dat wack thang at St. Paul's?  
  
**BRUNETTE NURSE  
** No.  
  
**BLONDE NURSE  
** One of tha neonatal nurses strutted right off tha unit wit two babies.  
  
**BRUNETTE NURSE  
** Yo ass is kiddin mah dirty ass.  
  
**BLONDE NURSE  
** Swear ta Dogg. Worked there seventeen years. Then one day, outta tha blue, she just do dat shit.  
  
Da NURSES enta tha baby-filled nursery.  
  
**BRUNETTE NURSE  
** Thatz just horrifying.  
  
**BLONDE NURSE  
** Now her big-ass booty sayin dat her dope ass don't even remember what tha fuck happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Like dat biiiiatch was possessed.  
  
**BRUNETTE NURSE  
** Heh, nuts.  
  
**BLONDE NURSE  
** I know. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck could eva lay a gangbangin' finger on them?  
  
**BRUNETTE NURSE**  
I know. They're just delicious.  
  
Da BRUNETTE NURSEz eyes go demon-black.


	5. Act Four

INT yo. HONEYMOON SUITE- NIGHT  
  
**SAM  
** So our demon gourmet nurse. Yo ass sure?  
  
**RUBY  
** Bitch bout ta fuckin be there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Graveyard shift tomorrow night. Meantime, if you gonna be phat enough ta bust a cap up in Lilith, you gonna need mo' than I can hit you wit now, nahmeean?  
  
SAM sighs.  
  
**RUBY  
** Sam. Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It aint nuthin but all gravy.  
  
**SAM  
** I know I need mo' n' mo' n' mo'. I git dat shit. I know itz all gravy. I just—I wish he'd trusted me, you know?  
  
**RUBY  
** Sorry.  
  
**SAM  
** I just hope...you know, when all dis is over...I hope we can fix thangs.  
  
INT. BOBBY'S HOUSE- NIGHT alternatin wit INT. DEAN'S CAR- NIGHT  
  
**BOBBY  
** Cops found tha Escalade up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' ditch outside Elk River.  
  
**DEAN  
** How tha fuck far away be I?  
  
**BOBBY  
** A couple hours. I pulled up a thugged-out drizzle map, made some calls. Therez a hood not far from there, Cold Spring. Lightin up wit demon sign.  
  
**DEAN  
** A phat place ta look.  
  
**BOBBY  
** Yo, listen.  
  
**DEAN  
** What?  
  
**BOBBY  
** Us findin Sam, biatch? It aint nuthin but gotta be bout gettin his ass back, not pushin his ass away.  
  
**DEAN  
** Right.  
  
**BOBBY  
** I know you mad, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass gots a right ta be yo, but I be just saying. Be phat ta his ass anyway. Yo ass gotta git all up in ta his muthafuckin ass.  
  
DEAN hangs up.  
  
INT. MOTEL HALLWAY- NIGHT  
  
SAM leaves tha motel room. DEAN, hidden, watches his ass go, then entas tha room.   
  
INT yo. HONEYMOON SUITE- NIGHT  
  
RUBY is still up in tha room; she n' DEAN fight. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM reentas n' defendz her muthafuckin ass.  
  
**SAM  
** No. Let her go. Just take it easy as fuck .  
  
**DEAN  
** Well, it must've been some jam you two had going, thankin bout how tha fuck hard you tried ta keep me from crashin dat shit. Well, solid try yo, but here I am.  
  
**SAM  
** Dean, I be glad you here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Look. Letz just rap bout all dis bullshit.  
  
**DEAN  
** Soon as her dope ass dead, we can rap all you want.  
  
**SAM  
** Ruby, git outta here.  
  
**DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, she not goin anywhere.  
  
RUBY make her escape. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM watches her go.  
  
**DEAN  
** Dat hoe poison, Sam.  
  
**SAM  
** It aint nuthin but not what tha fuck you think, Dean.  
  
**DEAN  
** Look what tha fuck her dope ass did ta you, biatch. I mean, she up n' vanishes weeks at a time, leaves you crackin up fo' another hit—  
  
**SAM  
** Bitch was lookin fo' Lilith.  
  
**DEAN  
** That is French fo' manipulatin yo' ass ten ways from Sunday.  
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass is wrong, Dean.  
  
**DEAN  
** Sam, you lyin ta yo ass. I just want you ta be aiiight. Yo ass would do tha same fo' mah dirty ass. Yo ass know you would.  
  
**SAM  
** Just listen.  
  
SAM raises his hand, realizes da perved-out muthafucka still holdin Rubyz knife dat tha pimpin' muthafucka took from DEAN, n' tosses tha knife on tha bed.  
  
**SAM  
** Just listen fo' a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! We gots a lead on a thugged-out demon close ta Lilith. Come wit us, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We bout ta do dis together.  
  
**DEAN  
** That soundz pimped out fo' realz. As long as itz you n' mah dirty ass. Demon biiiatch be a thugged-out dealbreaker n' shit. Yo ass lick her peace out, we can go n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.  
  
**SAM  
** I can't.  
  
DEAN turns away, nodding.  
  
**SAM  
** Dean, I need her ta help me bust a cap up in Lilith. I know you can't wrap yo' head round it yo, but maybe one dizzle you gonna understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be tha only one whoz ass can do this, Dean.  
  
DEAN turns back around.  
  
**DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, you not tha one whoz gonna do all dis bullshit.  
  
**SAM  
** Right, thatz right, I forgot. Da angels be thinkin itz you, biatch.  
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass don't be thinkin I can?  
  
**SAM  
** No. Yo ass can't. Yo ass aint phat enough.  
  
**DEAN  
** And whoz ass tha hell is yo slick ass?  
  
**SAM  
** I be bein practical here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I be bustin what tha fuck need ta be done.  
  
**DEAN  
** Yeah, biatch? Yo ass aint gonna do a single damn thang.  
  
**SAM  
** Quit bossin me around, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Look. My fuckin whole game, you take tha wheel, you call tha shots, n' I trust you cuz yo ass is mah brutha n' shit. Now I be askin you, fo' once, trust mah dirty ass.  
  
**DEAN  
** No. Yo ass don't give a fuck what tha fuck you bustin, Sam.  
  
**SAM  
** Yes, I do.  
  
**DEAN  
** Then thatz worse.  
  
**SAM  
** Why, biatch? Look, I be spittin some lyrics ta you—  
  
**DEAN  
** Because it aint suttin' dat you bustin, itz what tha fuck yo ass is biaaatch! It means—  
  
DEAN cuts his dirty ass off.  
  
**SAM  
** What, biatch? No. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Say dat shit.  
  
SAM has tears up in his wild lil' fuckin eyes.  
  
**DEAN**  
It means you a monster.  
  
SAM nodz fo' realz. A tear falls from DEANz eye; SAM don't peep it before he punches DEAN. DEAN goes down hard, then gets back up n' watches SAM fo' a moment before punchin back.


	6. Act Five

INT yo. HONEYMOON SUITE- NIGHT  
  
SAM n' DEAN fight, SAM dominatin fo' realz. Anythang up in tha room dat can break do. DEAN hits tha floor n' don't git up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM pins his ass down, chokin him, then lets go.  
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass don't give a fuck mah dirty ass. Yo ass never done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And you never will.  
  
SAM strutts away.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yo ass strutt up dat door, don't you eva come back.  
  
SAM stops all up in tha door n' turns back, then leaves.


End file.
